We love to gossip about things and people. But we are most burdened when a person close to us shares secrets, which obviously we cannot tell anyone. The secret comes with a trust seal that we cannot break and at the same time, its burden starts eating us alive. So, we go midway and tell it to our best friend.
Why Can’t We Keep Secrets?
- Keeping secrets is difficult because we become consumed by undesirable thoughts that dominate the majority of our brain space.
- According to a recent study, secrecy can cause emotional and physical pain.
- When we have a secret, we are more irritable when someone criticises us. People who confide in a parent or close friend report fewer bodily issues, antisocial behaviour, loneliness, and despair than those who keep their secrets to themselves, according to studies.
- We are sociable beings, so maintaining a secret goes against our natural desire to share something fascinating with others.
Some people are good at keeping secrets. So it’s not that they’re “better” at keeping secrets than others; rather, they’re better at dealing with the intrusive and unpleasant thoughts that come with keeping things hidden.
Who Can’t Keep Secrets?
- People who enjoy drama, need to feel important and are in positions of authority frequently can’t keep secrets.
- By association, chatting and sharing the secret can make people feel powerful.
- They like to be the ones who reveal the secret because the secret contains vital information. Information is a powerful tool.
- They enjoy the build-up and dramatisation that accompany a lie. They even add in some self-praise.
- The person is careless about his or her relationship with the person whose secrets he or she was privy to.
According to a survey, lying, sexual behaviour, finances, and social unhappiness are among the secrets kept by men and women in their twenties.
Secrets Have Their Own Rules:
- If you have a secret, you are the only one who can keep it.
- The heart of the secret is that there is no secret for people to know.
- Never pretend to know “someone” or “anything intriguing.” Be straightforward and unobtrusive, and act naturally.
- A secret is always revealed when there is an obvious mystery. People will soon discover what you’re hiding.
- Don’t be foolish. When you say “Please, don’t tell anyone!” The person’s desire to tell everyone may get stronger.
- When he is in danger, trying to impress anyone or drunk, the secret can slip him imperceptibly and unexpectedly, against his will.
- The fewer people who are aware of it, the better.
- Never write down your secrets; everything should be remembered.
- Don’t tell just because “he’s a good person” or “I can tell her anything since she’s my mother.” Only tell them if it’s absolutely required.
Remember, It’s vital to keep in mind that expecting someone else to value a secret that they’ve been given is impractical. Others have a hard time appreciating something extremely valuable to someone else. It could be an event or a narrative for others, but it could be one of the most essential things in your life, for you, who is sharing the secret.