Why It’s OK to Have Fewer Friends As You Get Older?

Why do we start losing friends as we grow up? When we were growing up the concept of having dozens of friends seemed like a heroic moment. The feeling of being the one on whom everyone can rely and depend was something we really worked and loved.

But, as time passed, we understood that being a friend entailed more than just playing games and gossiping. This is where I’d like to lay out the reasons why we lose friends as we get older:

  • You are no longer in school/college: You are no longer seeing your buddies on a daily basis, and you now have a job deadline to meet. Due to job, education, and family obligations, you won’t be able to see them every day.
  • Close Friends getting married/ into relationships: Your friendship will last as long as you are both single. Friendship takes a back place when one of you desires to marry and live happily ever after with the other. And what does the person in the backseat do? Sleep! When your friend is in a relationship, you begin to despise his or her boyfriend and prefer to spend less time debating their relationship.
  • Busy living/Job: People tend to get so caught up in working their tails off that they forget how to live life to the fullest. Even when they have time off, they prefer to spend it sleeping and binge-watching at home. 
  • People Change: Change is the only thing that is constant in the world. We ultimately grow out of our naivety and come to terms with reality. We begin to discover what is good and easy for us, and if anything or someone is attempting to break us, we wander away from that person. 
  • End of One-sided friendships/ Quality over quantity: As we become older, we realise that there are individuals in our life who are solely interested in getting something from us. They don’t care about us, and friendship is all about business for them. You become tired of being the one who has to do everything. 
  • Old Friends holding you back: We’ve all experienced our fair share of amusing and embarrassing experiences. And now, when they are brought up, we feel offended because we are no longer the same person. We’re wiser, more opportunistic, and more careful. Old pals serve as a stinging reminder of how stupid and dumb you used to be, the foolish version you despise. 
  • A phase friend: With time, you’ve understood that it doesn’t matter how much about yourself you’ve revealed to someone; the only thing that matters is if you want to keep the friendship going. It is just there are people, just for a phase, and as soon as that phase passes, you don’t need them. 
  • Finding Inner peace: We live in such a fast-paced environment that all we want is to find some time to heal ourselves. As a result, we eliminate those who are wasting our time unnecessarily. Instead, we’d want to devote that time on ourselves.
  • Hate Do-overs/No friends from social media: We all have social media profiles with 500 to 1000 pals. But how many of them are we truly friends with? As we become bored of going on and on, we begin to despise the do-overs with telling people our name, interests, family, profession, and everything else. Instead, we attempt to live in the moment and live via small talk.
  • Move on: With time, we tend you learn what’s good for us and what’s going to keep us sane. The whole crying over a friend and separation doesn’t bother you anymore and you know, you are an adult who knows how to make friends. You know how to survive with or without a friend.

Remember, losing and gaining friends is a common part of life. It might be seen as a positive or negative sign. For me, this is a good sign because now I have to deal with less turmoil with no one to impress. Now, I have more time to spend alone which brings serenity and inner tranquilly. 

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