I am afraid to fall in love

Because I think love is stupid and I have this feeling that I am not meant to fall in love only get crushes. I feel love when I am around family, friends, and dogs. I am unable to transfer the sensation called love. I get that someone loves me, but it’s almost impossible for me to try to love them, I can be friends with them. Love is not important to me, not more than friends. I mean relationships are waste but friendships are valuable.

I hate myself for not feeling love for anyone. It’s like someone has put a spell on me. I am just waiting for someone. I really want to experience heartbreak. It will make me wise. I sometimes think I am not worthy or good enough to experience such a true pure beautiful emotion. I don’t want forever and always, just years. I am just dying every day waiting for that someone special.

Sometimes I blame myself for having such high expectations from a guy before I can fall in love. I want movies to type romance like Bella from Twilight or Hermione from Harry Potter or every Shah Rukh’s movie. I want it with adventure, romance, thrill, drama, everything. I am old school; I like handwritten letters, long walks, playing games, picnics. I am low maintenance; all I need is your presence every day in my life.

Just waiting for my love life to begin…

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